Living at Home: A Students Perspective
By Jennifer Fraser
Reprinted from "Commuter Perspectives," Vol. 26, No. 2, Winter 2001
Living at home while attending school can be both worthwhile and challenging. While students may be able to save money when they live at home, they must learn to work with their family members to negotiate a new set of guidelines during their college years. Students must become skilled at balancing their academic studies and extra-curricular activities on campus with their family life and responsibilities. As a student who lived at home during her entire college career, I learned to work with my family to make this arrangement as smooth as possible. While I worked, studied, and participated in student organizations, I continued to remain actively involved in my household.
Communicating with my family about the full range of my collegiate responsibilities was beneficial to maintaining a strong balance between home and school. It was important for me to discuss with family members my course load for each semester and the organizations I planned to join so I could create a tentative schedule. With schedule in hand, I negotiated with my family to see what time was available for studying, extra-curricular activities, and family duties. This helped to maintain open communication about the activities that were occurring in my life and allowed us to plan a schedule that we all could follow.
In my family, establishing a curfew that both my parents and I can live with called for negotiation and compromise. Once a reasonable curfew hour was decided, I tried very hard to adhere to this agreement. However, I found that there were times when I needed to be out later than planned, whether for a class assignment or an important social event. In these cases, I was sure to call my family as soon as I knew I would be late and explain why I needed to be out later than the appointed hour, where I would be and when I would be home.
As a student who lived with her family, it was important for me to join student activities in order to feel connected to the campus community. Taking part in student organizations helped me become a well-rounded student and allowed me to discover issues I care about strongly. Because I lived off campus, it was important for me to take all my commitments and my commute into consideration when selecting activities. One of the activities I chose to be involved in was the Commuter Leadership Team (CLT). My involvement with the CLT allowed me to assist incoming commuter students in their transition to the University of Maryland. As a new student to the University, I benefited from having an experienced commuter student show me around campus and help me adjust to college life. As a member of this team, I wanted to help new students feel as connected to their new school as I did.
Although there may be temporary frustrations or disagreements, I found my family to be a wonderful support system for me while I was in school. I often turned to my family members when I was experiencing difficulty in a particular area and, although they may not have entirely understood what I was going through, they listened and provided support. My family also helped me celebrate when things went well such as getting an A on an exam or achieving a student leadership position. Often family members know first-hand how long and hard a student has been studying or working on a project and are in an ideal position to help celebrate the student's triumph. Another way my family was helpful to me is when they took on some of my home responsibilities when I needed extra time for school or work. There were times when I had a hectic week during the semester and was grateful for the assistance they provided.
When looking for a good place to study at home, students should be sure to find a location where they can concentrate on their work and not be distracted by the televsion, radio, telephone, or other family members. For students who decided not to study at home, campus libraries are, of course, excellent places to go There are also study lounges in the student center and academic buildings. Some institutions may have lounges specifically designated for commuter students. I often preferred to study on campus just so I had extra time to spend with my family once I got home.
In conclusion, living at home was a wonderful experience for my family and me. Techniques such as creating a family schedule that includes school, work, and family time; maintaining open communication around issues such as curfews and responsibilities; getting involved on campus; making use of a family support system for times of stress and celebration; and designating study times and places made living at home a meaningful part of my college career.
