Correcting Barriers to Effective Communication
One of the first steps for correcting these barriers is to engage in self-reflection and notice when you may be doing them. Additionally, the following are helpful tools:
1. Mind Reading. Allow someone to finish their statement before speaking.
2. Physical: Try to have face-to-face conversations. Put distractions away. Gently ask to have the conversation at another time if you cannot avoid the distractions.
3. Rehearsing. Practice focusing on the communicator’s words and paraphrase what is said.
4. Non-verbals: Pay attention to your actions as well as your words. Self check-in about your emotional state. Remember culture impacts the meaning of many non-verbals.
5. Distraction/Daydreaming. Self check-in to see if now is a good time to talk. If not, ask to speak later. If you cannot delay, practice visualizing the words in your head.
6. Judging. Attempt to suspend judgement, checking in with where the judgment comes from. Focus on your disagreement with the message, not judgement of the person.
7. Filtering. Highlight to yourself the items that you may typically ignore.
8. Sparring. Attempt to understand the person’s message
9. Derailing. Respond on-point to what was said, or avoid making commentary and use enhancers if you are unable.
10. Misperceptions: Ask for clarification or clarify what you meant.
11. Culture/Language: Take steps to understand cultural differences. Ask for clarification when it seems that there might be a difference. Avoid judgement—there is no one “right” way to communicate.
12. Superficial: Self-Reflection: check in with how you’re feeling, what you think, and if you want to share those with the other person.
13. Advising. Try to refrain from giving advice until asked. Step back and be supportive. Let them know you are there if needed.
14. Placating. Too quickly agreeing, sometimes as a way to make the other person stop talking.
15. Dumping: If you are dumping, notice about how much time/space you have taken up. Set goals to scale back. If you’re receiving, set boundaries where you can (i.e., set a time limit).
16. Being Right. Focus on the other person’s feelings or experience. You may disagree about something, but everyone’s feelings are valid.
17. Boredom. Self check-in to see if now is a good time to talk. If not, ask to speak later. If you can’t delay, practice visualizing the person’s words in your head.
18. Heightened Emotions. Let the other person know that right now is not a good time but you are happy to talk later. Find ways to care for your emotions to prevent them from negatively affecting communication.