Culture in Communicating and Listening
Before we discuss effective communication, we want to highlight the role of culture in communication. The culture we are raised in teaches us, from a very young age, the rules of communication in both obvious and subtle ways. This includes what we are told, like if you were told to always say "please" and "thank you." It also includes what we observe in others, like how our family members talk (or don’t talk) to each other.
Keep in mind that there are many different cultures and we cannot assume that the people around us were raised in the same way we were. We could spend a lot of time scratching the surface of how communication might vary based on cultural influences and still not do the topic justice. Culture is complex and it influences people in lots of different ways. However, generally speaking, our culture influences the ways that we think, behave, and express our feelings, which can create barriers in communication. Let's look more at this.
First, our culture influences the ways that we think about the world, or our worldview. So for example, someone who was raised in a conservative culture might have a different worldview than someone who was raised in a culture that was much less conservative. These worldviews filter the way that we think about things and ultimately impact how well we communicate with others. This stems from simply thinking differently about the world!
Another thing we have learned from our culture is what is "right" and "wrong" about our behaviors. The behaviors can be as simple as eye contact or the space between people. So, for instance, if you are raised to have a firm belief that being “on time” is important, and your friend is taught that being “on time” is flexible, this difference could create some tension and frustration for the both of you! Can you identify a time when a cultural difference has come up between you and someone? A time when what you think is "right" has been noticeably different from what a friend, partner, or classmate thinks is right?
Finally, culture affects how and when we're taught to display or not display our emotions, from laughing and smiling to crying or showing anger. Our culture not only influences how we show our emotions but also our reactions to how others show theirs. So if you've been raised to be emotionally reserved, you might find someone whom is emotional to be "rude." Conversely, they might think that you are hiding something by not showing emotions.
In just these three ways, it's easy to see that even if we are speaking the same words, we might think about the words differently, have different behaviors while speaking, and have very different emotional displays when we're speaking. These things can really impact our ability to understand one another’s communication.
While we can't change our culture, being aware of the differences that exist among people can help prevent and correct miscommunication. As we mentioned, self-awareness is an important skill in developing positive connections. We encourage you to think about how your culture may influence the communication that you have with others.