Emotional Reactions Leading to Conflict
Some relationship conflict can also arise, or be exacerbated, by our emotional experiences. Now, we're not saying emotions are bad. Emotions are not the problem! However, sometimes the intensity of our emotions and the ways that we express or act upon our emotions can impact or influence conflict. If someone is highly emotionally reactive, then it is difficult for that person to engage in rational thinking and can increase the use of unhelpful perceptions and problematic behaviors. Their fight or flight system may be activated, leading to reactivity, defensiveness, aggressiveness, or withdrawal.
Can you relate to the experience of getting really mad at someone and reacting by yelling loudly, throwing or breaking things, or running out of the house? Maybe you've even done all three! But after 20 minutes have passed, and the anger has subsided, you saw things differently, and perhaps more rationally. Maybe you felt a bit embarrassed about your behavior, you apologize, and are able to see things from a widened perspective.
So you can see what we mean about how the intensity of our emotions and how we act on them can impact conflict!