Communication
Now that we have reflected on why we want relationships, discussed intimacy and autonomy, discussed characteristics of healthy relationships, and you have had an opportunity to reflect on your values within relationships, let's shift our discussion to communication. Communication is the cornerstone of making our values and needs in relationships known. It is important for creating new relationships as well as maintaining our existing ones.
Communication is not only the words that we speak, but how we say them, including our non-verbal communication, like eye contact or tone of voice. Communication also occurs when we choose not to interact with others, like when we choose not to say “Hi” to our classmates. We might communicate well or communicate poorly, but we cannot NOT communicate, even when we remain silent. Additionally, while good communication may not resolve all problems, problems cannot be resolved without good communication.
Let's take an inventory of how your communication currently works. Click here to begin this exercise.
As you're filling it out, here are some things to ask yourself:
- In what ways are you communicating well?
- How about ways that you are communicating poorly? For instance, do you find your communication is better with strangers or people you know?
- Are you better at specific types of communication than others? For example, are you are better at "getting to know you" talk than you are at conflict?
- How effective are you at making your values known?
Take some time to develop a list of your strengths and areas of growth in communication. Remember, having a sense of yourself, including areas of growth, is key to developing healthy relationships.