Healthy Relationships
Let's start by highlighting certain characteristics that make up healthy relationships. Click here to see some basic traits of healthy relationships. As you can see, the traits of healthy relationships come with a core component of respect for both yourself and for the people with whom you have a relationship.
Relationship Values
In addition to some standard traits that are present in healthy relationships, people should also be aware of their own relationship values. So, let's really begin to look at your relationship values, remembering that in order to create relationships that feel meaningful, we need to have a sense of our needs and wants.
When we’re talking about values, we mean the things that you need in order to feel as though you are living life in an authentic way. Values are the firmly held beliefs about what gives you, and your relationships with those around you, meaning. So a core value might be something like faithfulness or humor. Values can overlap with traits of a healthy relationship, but they do not have to.
Values are also something that we are always striving towards. That is, we don't achieve a value and then stop the work. So for instance, if you value being a supportive person, do you ever arrive at being "supportive" and get to stop? No! It remains something that you continually strive for.
You might find that your values vary from one relationship to another. For instance, in a classmate, you might greatly value being hardworking. Conversely, in a friendship, you might value someone whom is supportive and kindhearted. And, because relationships are complicated, there might be different values that you have during different times in the same relationship. Perhaps humor is extremely important to you, but it takes a backseat to "supportive" when you are feeling sad and need some support.
Let's take a few minutes for you to begin to identify some of the values that you have for your relationships. Please click here for a values compass. This is a tool that you can use to begin to identify your values across different relationships. There are some questions on it to help you think through your values.
For additional help identifying values, click here for a list of common values that people may have. Using the pages discussed in this section as guides, take some time to begin the blank values compass here. Start with one of the relationship types that feels most important to you and complete as much as you can. As you complete the worksheet, you might find that there are some relationships that aren't applicable or important to your life, and that's okay.